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Top 10 Must Haves . .

Before I met my husband, I was never really the “fashion conscious” type of girl. People often described my style as “kikay” because I would always find the brightest things to use. I guess, at the time, it matched my personality. I was “bubbly”, the word people often used to describe me. I wouldn’t say that I am “gloomy” now, but I definitely have grown into a more mature person with my views and how I act around people, and with that, my clothes and my taste for fashion changed as well. Through the years, I’ve learned so much about trust and respect in how it was given by the people close to me.

But enough of that, this post is going to be about the basic clothing that all women should have, brought to you by lists that I’ve found online, and I’m going to do a little check off with the clothes I have. If you’d like, you can do it, too. I just thought that I would share it with you.

So here we go . . .

Tim Gunn’s Essential Elements:

1. Basic Black Dress – The little black dress that everybody always talks about. If there’s one thing that I have a lot of in my closet, it’s the color black. I have a couple of black dresses that I really love. My favorite one would have to be the Bebe dress that I bought for Gian’s friend’s wedding. It’s a small, but for some weird reason, no matter how much weight I gain, I can still fit into it. Maybe that’s why it’s my favorite. The little black dress on my wishlist: I would love to own a Herve Leger black bondage dress.
2. Trench Coat – I have a couple of trench coats that I got from Bebe (again). They are the same style but one is black and the other is a lavender shade. I also have a dark green one that I bought at H&M in Chicago a couple of years ago. Why? Because it was January in ChiTown and little old me didn’t have a coat. Trench Coats in Texas? You only wear them during cold fronts that last 2 days out of the month during our so-called winter season in January. =)
3. Dress Pants – My husband loves the office look on girls, so when we met, I would always shop at Banana Republic and Express to try to find the perfect slacks or “dress pants.” I have quite a few in my closet, ranging from white to beige to gray to black.
4. Classic Shirt - Would this be like a button down top? I have a shortage in my closet. I can never find the right one that I like. Anybody have tips on where I should look?
5. Jeans - I’m not quite Eva Longoria with the number of jeans, but I do have quite a bit that I got from Express and a few junior brands that I just can’t seem to let go no matter how torn they are. Shopping for the perfect jeans is hard, so when I find ones fit me just right, I can’t let go of it even when it’s time.
6. Any Occasion Top – I think I have one. The top that can work as both casual and formal.
7. Skirt - I love, love, love skirts. I can’t get enough of them.
8. Day Dress – Day Dresses are the most essential down here in the valley. To help cool off during the heat, I always wear dresses.
9. Jacket - Did you know that I just recently purchased my first every blazer? I have been browsing through lookbook, chictopia, and fashion bloggers’ sites, and everybody had the perfect blazer or the perfect jacket, and I didn’t even own one. Now, it is my brand new obsession. I feel like I have to have a blazer in every color possible. So far, I have sky blue, black, and white. If you know of any sites or stores that have awesome blazers, please do tell!
10. Sweatsuit Alternative – Capris are my alternative to sweats. However, there are days when I wake up and I just don’t feel like dressing up to work. I work in recovery. I drive there, walk in the hospital, change into green scrubs, clock out at 11 o’clock at night, get in my car, and drive home. Why should I have to dress up all the time? Sweatsuits and big t-shirts are just so comfy!

Nina Garcia’s Top 10 Essentials:

1. The Little Black Dress – Refer to previous list.
2. A Classic Men’s White Shirt - I don’t own one, but I can easily go into my husband’s closet and steal or (ahem) borrow one of his dress shirts. He’s got quite a lot because of work.
3. Cashmere Cardigan or Turtleneck - I have two cardigans. Can you believe that? I can actually count the amount that I have off of the top of my head. I guess when I go shopping I should be looking for the perfect cardigan then. I have a couple of turtlenecks but I don’t really like wearing them all that much because of the feeling. It has to be the most comfortable turtleneck for me to stand wearing it.
4. A Trench Coat - Refer to pervious list.
5. Denim - I love denim. I have jeans, jackets, even dresses in denim.
6. A Man’s Classic Watch - Once again, I will borrow.
7. Diamonds - Of course. The one the hubby got me. I think that’s enough for now. I’m not really a big fan of spending so much money on jewelry. Who knows? Maybe sometime in the future.
8. Ballet Flats - I have these Kenneth Cole flats that I got on sale a while back for $7, I believe. (They were originally around $60.) I usually don’t wear it though. I’m not a big fan of flats in general, unless they’re Havianas sandals. I have them in different colors, and they definitely get a workout from me, especially the black one.
9. A Classic High Heel Pump – Oh yes, my favorite! I love pumps. =)
10. A Great Bag - I consider all the Makowskys to be great bags. I used to love Coach but now, I don’t use them as much. I wish I could get back all the money that I spent on the Coach purses that I no longer want and put them together to a Balenciaga or a Chanel purse, because I’m pretty sure, it would add up to quite a bit. My newest obsession: clutches!

Since I usually have to have inspiration to write something on this site, I think I might take the direction towards having a “what I wore today” type of category, so that at least, I’ll be inspired to post something on a daily basis, rather than the once every three months entries that I have been doing.

I guess we’ll see!

Once, Twice, Thrice.

My mom always instilled in me the importance of fighting back when the need arises.

And I do.

Many times, I just push things aside and tell myself, “It’s a mistake. They’ll remember next time.” So I move on and continue living life, hoping that the next time will be different. More often than not, I end up disappointed.

First comes the reminders. The little hints here and there that people with half a mind could notice. [No response.] So I usually move on to comments (half-joking & half-meant). [No response.] So then I move to a more action-oriented approach. I bring it up to the person’s attention. Usually, I get two different responses. A genuinely sincere apology or a half apology accompanied with defensiveness that end up being the contribution to the escalation of a simple issue. And when the latter occurs, that’s when it hits the fan.

It’s frustrating when you finally bring it to the person’s attention and they “play dumb” about it. They treat as though you never gave them the first few reminders to begin with. They treat it as though it’s petty and doesn’t need to be discussed. It WAS petty the first few times it was done, but then, the unconcerned attitude continued, as though the constant reminders never occurred. Put yourself in someone else’s shoes for once — being constantly let down, being constantly in the position of always having to remind you, knowing that you have enough intelligence to be able to think on your own and follow through with your actions without anybody force feeding you the right decisions you should be making.

And that’s when the rapport is broken.

Rather than waste my time constantly struggling to make it better, to make it work in a way that would be healthy for both sides, I choose to fight back, make my point, and then throw in the towel.

If you choose to be blasé and unconcerned, there’s no need to keep you in my life.

The world still turns with or without you.

Once.

I’m usually (almost) willing to try anything once.

There’s just one little thing that hinders my daredevil side to proclaim freedom — my fear of heights (amongst other things).

It’s not really a full-blown fear.  When I’m on an airplane, I’m not really scared.  Put me in a seat of a rollercoaster (even the child ones), and I might just start having palpitations here and there.

I’m always willing to try to everything once, except for things that I don’t really know how to do. (LOL).

While growing up, I never really had anybody teach me how to ride a bike properly. My neighbor’s father, who felt sorry for me, tried to teach me how to ride his daughter’s bike one summer day.  I guess he felt bad seeing me sit on their porch watching the other kids flying by on their bikes.

He told me that it’s mind over matter.

Just pedal, he said.  So I did. I pedaled — straight into the wall.  I fell.

He clapped, telling me that it’s the perfect learning experience.

He said that my friend, Ronessa, had to crash into a pineapple plant, get cuts, and cry before she got back on it and realized that — Voila! — she had learned how to ride a bike.

In a way, he was telling me that there’s nothing to fear but fear itself.  I had gotten the crashing into the wall out of my system, so I will no longer be afraid of it when I get back on; therefore, I will no longer crash.

Fair enough.  It sounded pretty decent.

So I got back on, with determination written all over my face. I wrinkled my forehead and told myself over and over, “I can do this. I can do this!” And sure enough, I did do it —– straight into the wall again.

But like I said in my title.  I am more than WILLING to try anything ONCE.

I tried to ride a bike.  Not just once, but crashed into a wall twice.

I’ve gotten on rollercoasters even with my fear of heights not just once but at least twice.

If only I could free the daredevil in me, then I could probably do anything more than just “ONCE”.

Nurses On TV

I memorized the date a couple of weeks ago.  June 16 – the premiere of hawthoRNe on TNT.  I made sure to add it to the mess of dates already in my head because I thought, “Wow! Finally, a TV show that protrays nurses in a good light and looks at things from their perspective.”

When I decided to go into nursing, it was because it was a personal choice.  It wasn’t because my mother is a nurse, my sister is a nurse, and my brother is also a nurse. I wanted to become a nurse because it was MY own choice.  My mother, bless her heart, really pushed all of us into nursing from a young age, but I, unlike my friends, was actually fine with the idea of being a nurse. I didn’t have the urge to rebel so that I could be different from the rest of the Filipino young’ns around me.  I actually wanted to be a nurse.

When I was younger, I would watch ER and most recently, Grey’s Anatomy.  There have been other shows that revolve around the hospital setting but these two seem to be the most popular ones.  ER didn’t really revolve mainly on the nurses. It revolved around the doctors and their relationship with the nurses, unit clerks, and aids.

To be quite honest, I think ER sugar-coated the relationship between the doctors and the nurses.  They made it seem like the doctors actually saw the nurses as their colleagues, as people whose opinions could be valued and should be heard.  It painted this far-from-reality picture for me.

When I first worked as a unit clerk, I was in for a rude awakening.  The doctors that I worked with didn’t seem to treat the nurses, aids, and unit clerks as their colleagues.  We were more like their maids, ordered to do their bidding and reprimanded for questioning any judgment calls they made.  We were supposed to be autonomous. We received orders. We did them.  Question the doctor’s orders? How dare you! Unable to understand the order and call them for clarification? How dare you even more.  Every scribble, every illegible handwriting — the nurses and clerks are supposed to be able to decipher without any questions, no matter how poor the handwriting may be.

Whoa! Wait, so that means ER isn’t really true?  The procedures, the drugs, the cases — they were usually true, but the relationships — maybe up north but not down south where we live.  Not by far. (With some exceptions.)

After seeing a preview of Grey’s Anatomy, I decided to start watching it. (I think McDreamy had something to do with that.) I don’t remember exactly what season or what episode it was, but I just remember one of the doctors taking one of the nurses into the doctor’s sleeping quarters (?) and having sex with her.  Then another doctor walks in, and the nurse just kind of faded into oblivion. She was merely a speed bump.

Another stereotype.

Granted, there are some cases where it’s true.  During my clinicals, I met a nurse that made it known to every student that encountered this specific doctor that she was, in fact, dating that doctor and that we all must stay away.  She was so proud to be the doctor’s new flavor of the month, and she didn’t seem to mind making it known to everybody.  I guess people have different goals in life. She apparently met hers . . . for a month.

But that’s how Grey’s Anatomy portrayed that nurse.  She was someone that was willing to sleep with the doctor.

While I was watching hawthoRNe tonight, I was actually getting excited.  With the banter between the doctor and the nurse and the usual, “I do NOT need a nurse telling me what to do!” And the addition of, “So which medical school did you attend?” And my favorite, “The nurse what’s-his-name . . . ” I was actually feeling passionate.  I wanted to jump into the television and give the doctor on the screen a piece of my mind — since I can’t do it in my life.  It gave me a chance to lash out at the TV, all the pent up anger that I’ve felt regarding issues like “clarification of orders” and the usual, “Did you not read what I wrote? I wrote it! Don’t question my orders!” answers.

I liked the show.

. . . but not everybody did.

I went online to look at the reviews for the show and many critics were comparing it to a Showtime show called “Nurse Jackie.” I have never seen the show, so I decided to do research on it. They were praising the show for having a strong protagonist dealing with the same issues that most nurses supposedly deal with at work, while bashing hawthoRNe for supposedly not dealing with the “right” issues that nurses are faced with at work.

I don’t know about you but during my 6 years of working in a hospital, drug-addicted, sex-crazed nurses have always been outnumbered by the nurses who are just dealing with the doctor-nurses relationship.  Drug-addicted nurses aren’t viewed as strong characters where I work.  They are viewed as weak nurses who let their addictions take over their actual job. They are viewed as nurses who need help from others in order to curb their addiction.

The majority of the “strong nurses” that need to be represented in a TV show are like the ones on hawthoRNe.  The nurses who have to deal with the constant belittling of their supposed colleagues. The fresh grads who get emesis all over them during their first few months at work.  The nurses who cry when there’s no other way to control their emotions.  The nurses who have to deal with “high school” cliches at work. The nurses who have to deal with bullying — be it from doctors or from other nurses as well.  The nurses who are torn between using their own judgment medicating patients when there’s a written doctor’s orders that says otherwise.  The nurses who decide to make the right decision in order to protect the patient and end up with the consequences. These are the majority of the nurses that go to work everyday and do patient care — not the ones Nurse Jackie portrays.

Now, I don’t care if it’s fiction and it’s “just a TV show” as some people might say.  Not everybody watching it is going to have the mindset that it’s just a show.  In an era where Spongebob can be sued for a boy drowning in the ocean in search of the absorbant, pourous Spongebob who lives under the sea — how certain professions are portrayed makes quite an impact.

We’re already overlooked enough as it is, now we have to deal with the stereotypes that the TV creates —– and the people that believe them, not knowing that it is, in fact, just fiction.